i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
