we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dick very happy bro
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
