My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
