That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
