My friends, they love my intelligence
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize