Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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