Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
