dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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