I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
