I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
