Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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