What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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