Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
