That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
