I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My pussy is not your playground.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
