Cold hands, warm shart.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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