I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize