all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
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We're using joints as your birthday candles
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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