i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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