She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
