I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
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Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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