my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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