So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
