I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My feet surprised me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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