no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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