im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
