It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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