I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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