so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
