try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
