where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
