Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
