I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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