I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
