Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
