Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
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