My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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