You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
