I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
