whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
