Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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