if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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