if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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