take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize