It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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