White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
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We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
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By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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