I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
now i know why i became what i already was.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
