Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
