shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
