just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
