i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?