Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?

  (1-925): View more from California

  Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through

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  (925): Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen? (1-925): Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through http://tfl.nu/7r4x
  Replies (11) Good night (1124) Bad night (738)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.

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  (636): Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme. http://tfl.nu/cvtw
  Replies (8) Good night (3090) Bad night (613)
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  (619): View more from California

  She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?

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  (619): She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser? http://tfl.nu/gbh0
  Replies (22) Good night (717) Bad night (4881)
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  (559): View more from California

  Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.

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  (559): Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie. http://tfl.nu/febc
  Replies (35) Good night (4884) Bad night (1844)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.

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  (734): I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense. http://tfl.nu/c4vr
  Replies (10) Good night (1120) Bad night (2943)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.

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  (513): I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star. http://tfl.nu/6ohf
  Replies (19) Good night (5431) Bad night (1032)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.

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  (203): Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle. http://tfl.nu/td6t
  Replies (6) Good night (2666) Bad night (954)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...

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  (605): Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away... http://tfl.nu/4asr
  Replies (4) Good night (1249) Bad night (1155)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.

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  (303): No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck. http://tfl.nu/2tgn
  Replies (7) Good night (1965) Bad night (788)
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  (949): View more from California

  Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.

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  (949): Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night. http://tfl.nu/dgcc
  Replies (6) Good night (1862) Bad night (612)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.

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  (503): It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now. http://tfl.nu/4bjw
  Replies (7) Good night (697) Bad night (1276)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth

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  (607): I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth http://tfl.nu/5ove
  Replies (1) Good night (400) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.

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  (901): I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes. (901): But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes. http://tfl.nu/ipaj
  Replies (4) Good night (948) Bad night (293)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,

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  (479): I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women.., http://tfl.nu/6j57
  Replies (6) Good night (763) Bad night (246)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.

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  (314): The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise. http://tfl.nu/hqv3
  Replies (5) Good night (365) Bad night (318)

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