Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were. http://tfl.nu/n6mv
  Replies (1) Good night (1116) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved. http://tfl.nu/f2dp
  Replies (5) Good night (3010) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal. http://tfl.nu/1sv3
  Replies (26) Good night (3996) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day http://tfl.nu/1bya
  Replies (27) Good night (4069) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg? http://tfl.nu/npo8
  Replies (23) Good night (1092) Bad night (4721)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look http://tfl.nu/7aaf
  Replies (14) Good night (4256) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water http://tfl.nu/p9in
  Replies (6) Good night (2607) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood http://tfl.nu/n403
  Replies (20) Good night (3926) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina. http://tfl.nu/fwb5
  Replies (5) Good night (472) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper? http://tfl.nu/1jid
  Replies (8) Good night (1409) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/zd6h
  Replies (5) Good night (654) Bad night (1237)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (787): antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions http://tfl.nu/y7o6
  Replies (4) Good night (708) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love http://tfl.nu/ldev
  Replies (3) Good night (392) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20. http://tfl.nu/9ljc
  Replies (6) Good night (1451) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less. http://tfl.nu/jxdo
  Replies (1) Good night (413) Bad night (227)

Randomize