On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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