didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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