I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
