I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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